What Is Narcissistic Rage? (2023)

Narcissistic rage is a term that was first coined by author Heinz Kohut in 1972 to refer to the tendency for people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) to fly into a rage with what might seem like the slightest provocation or no obvious provocation at all.

People with NPD require that others give them consistent admiration and positive feedback. When this doesn't happen, it can elicit underlying feelings of shame that trigger an instant angry response and cause them to lash out without considering how it impacts the recipient.

It is the narcissist’s thin skin and sensitivity that leads to this rage because of a deep-seated fear of being "found out" for not being the person they portray themselves to be.

Signs of Narcissistic Rage

Are you wondering if someone you know might be exhibiting signs of narcissistic rage? Or are you somewhat aware that you may have this tendency yourself? If you’re not sure, take a look at this list of the signs and symptoms of narcissistic rage. While it might feel as though the attack is calculated, most often, narcissistic rage is reactive in nature.

An episode of narcissistic rage derives from a threat to a person's sense of self and is characterized by intense anger. In a relationship, for example, this could manifest in physical or verbal abuse, manipulation, or passive-aggressive behavior.

Narcissistic rage is different from other forms of anger in that narcissistic rage is disproportionate to the perceived slight; it’s as though the person has a hair-trigger response. It’s completely out of proportion to what provoked it and often takes the other person by surprise.

Narcissistic rage can be active or passive with corresponding outward or inward signs of the problem. Below are the signs and symptoms to watch out for.

Outward Signs

  • Bouts of rage when not given the attention they feel deserve
  • Screaming and yelling
  • Angry or explosive outbursts
  • Intense anger
  • Sudden fits of anger
  • Becoming verbally or physically aggressive
  • Inability to control the rage
  • Intentionally trying to inflict pain (emotional or physical) on others

Inward Signs

  • Passive aggression
  • Giving the "silent treatment"
  • Withdrawing or being aloof
  • Avoiding someone
  • Hidden resentment
  • Neglecting to do things
  • Using sarcasm to cut people down
  • Righteous indignation
  • A sense of entitlement
  • Becoming hostile or bitter
  • Cutting people off as a means to protect their self-esteem
  • Dissociation or feeling disconnected from reality

The Connection Between Depression and Anger

Causes of Narcissistic Rage

If you suspect that someone you know has problems with narcissistic rage or that you may have this problem yourself, you might also be curious as to the cause. While we don’t know precisely what causes narcissistic personality disorder, which is often an underlying factor in narcissistic rage, it’s likely that a combination of genetics, upbringing, and life experiences play a role.

If you’re confused about whether someone you know might have NPD, it’s helpful to learn more about this disorder. NPD tends to disrupt all areas of a person’s life and can be overt (obvious), covert (hidden), or even high-functioning (the person is successful in life despite the disorder, such as a high-powered business person who is known for flying into fits of rage).

Personality Traits

The criteria for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder require a pervasive and long-term pattern of certain personality traits, including:

  • Grandiosity
  • Need for power and control
  • Lacking empathy
  • A sense of entitlement
  • Being envious of others
  • Arrogance
  • Need for attention

People may struggle with these types of narcissistic vulnerabilities without meeting the full criteria for narcissistic personality disorder.

Additional Contributing Factors

In addition, there are a number of specific factors or causes that can be identified when it comes to NPD and narcissistic rage in particular. We know that narcissistic rage happens when a person experiences "narcissistic injury," which equates to the sense of self being threatened.

(Video) What is "narcissistic rage"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)

Below are some other factors to consider:

  • Early childhood trauma, such as abuse or neglect and invalidation of the person's emotions, can cause them to bury their true self and hide internal injuries behind a false or alternate persona built on lies.
  • A highly sensitive temperament that is very reactive to feelings of shame can exacerbate rage responses.
  • Failure to develop critical emotion regulation skills can result in a childlike way of reacting to situations.
  • An unstable sense of self-esteem that makes them feel as though they are at risk of being "found out" can result in rage when triggered.
  • Facing a setback or disappointment that triggers shame and shatters one’s self-image can then trigger anger.
  • Being envious of someone else having something that they don’t have (i.e., material things, relationships, status) may prompt a rage response.
  • Memories of early experiences of shame can be triggered by current events leading to intense anger.
  • "Splitting" (also known as black-or-white thinking or all-or-nothing thinking) or viewing other people as good or bad (i.e., narcissists shift between idealizing someone and then degrading them; seeing someone as all good and then all bad) can explain the sudden nature of rage responses.
  • Having a sense of self that is split into two parts (true self and false self) can complicate a person's ability to manage emotional responses.
  • A fragmented sense of self that requires the adoration of other people (narcissistic supply) creates a fragile situation in which their entire sense of self is based on what other people think of them rather than a true internal self.

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Types of Narcissistic Rage

As mentioned previously, there are two different types of narcissistic rage: outward or explosive and inward or passive.

  • Explosive rage: The person hurls insults, screams and yells, and may even threaten other people or harm themselves.
  • Passive rage: The person retreats into a period of sulking and refuses to engage with you.

A narcissist can engage in both types of narcissistic rage rather than being solely outward or inward in their actions and behaviors.

The Signs of Grandiose Narcissism and How to Deal With It

Narcissistic Rage Cycle

Unlike typical anger, narcissistic rage does not go through a series of stages. For example, psychiatrist Adam Blatner identified the following seven stages or levels of typical anger:

  1. Stress: Feelings of anger under the surface that are not consciously acknowledged or acted upon
  2. Anxiety: Anger starts to leak through with subtle signs
  3. Agitation: Outward signs of being displeased without any blame assigned
  4. Irritation: Showing more displeasure to get others to respond and change
  5. Frustration: Showing anger with an angry face or using harsh words
  6. Anger: Increasing how loudly you speak and being more expressive
  7. Rage: Losing one’s temper and flying into fits of aggression

In contrast, there is no progression through a series of steps. Rather, what happens during narcissistic rage is more of a child-like response in which the person goes straight from feelings of stress to a full-blown outward or inward expression of rage.

Some refer to this as the narcissistic rage cycle. In this cycle, others don't live up to the person with narcissism's expectations, causing them to feel disappointment, then leading to anger which is followed by feelings of shame. This narcissistic rage cycle repeats, resulting in emotional dysfunction.

Examples of Narcissistic Rage

Still not sure if what you are experiencing is narcissistic rage? Below are some examples.

Not Getting Their Way

Your boss might make an unreasonable request such as asking you to work long hours over the weekend on a project at the last minute. If you refuse this unreasonable requisition, they may lash out with narcissistic rage.

Not Getting Enough Attention

A friend might always direct the conversation back to talking about themselves, even in the case when someone has shared something important and listening would be more appropriate. They might even become jealous and sulk or lash out if everyone is giving attention to someone else’s problem and ignoring them.

Feel Like They Are Losing Control of People/Situation

Someone might lash out at you if they feel as though they have lost control of you or the situation.

(Video) 9 Signs of Narcissistic Rage | Reactive & Instrumental Anger

Reacting to Criticism

Narcissistic rage can result from even the most gentle of criticism because of the unstable sense of self-esteem.

Getting Caught Doing Something

If you point out that someone is lying or cheating and they react by turning the tables and making you feel as though you are in the wrong or mistaken, that could be a sign of narcissistic rage.

Consequences of Narcissistic Rage

What are the consequences of narcissistic rage and why is it such a problem? The truth is that narcissistic rage has negative effects on the person who has the problem as well as everyone else who is subjected to the rage.

Below are some of the possible negative outcomes of narcissistic rage:

  • Rifts in families
  • Breakups of relationships
  • Other people not wanting to be around you
  • Having success but at the cost of friendships
  • Financial difficulties
  • Problems sustaining employment or attending school
  • Problems with the law
  • Physical harm (e.g., to others with outward violence and to the self with self-harm such as cutting, burning, or headbanging)
  • Feelings of guilt, loss, and being worthless
  • Inability to adapt to change
  • Depression and anxiety
  • Problems with physical health
  • Substance use and addiction
  • Suicidal thoughts or behaviors

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

How to Control Your Narcissistic Rage

If you are the person who has a problem controlling narcissistic rage, you may or may not be aware of what is happening internally. Hopefully, if you’ve read this far, you have a better sense and are interested in ways to interact with the world in a healthier and more fulfilling way.

While narcissistic rage might feel good at the moment as it helps relieve feelings of fear and shame, in the long term, it only serves to drive good people away from you, interfere with your success, and leave you fragile and at risk.

While treatment of narcissistic conditions can be challenging, here are some things to try if you want to get a handle on your narcissistic rage.


Psychological therapy is the main treatment for narcissistic personality disorder with psychoanalytic therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) being the most common. Other options include schema therapy, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and mentalization-based therapy.

Seeing a therapist can help you better understand your behavior, reduce the inner turmoil that you experience, address underlying causes, and prepare you with better coping strategies to deal with future situations. A therapist could help you:

  • Become willing to go through a process of understanding yourself and move toward your true self through therapy
  • Decide that the costs of staying the same are greater than the costs of making a change
  • Develop a more resilient sense of self and feel good about who you are, regardless of external sources of validation
  • Deal with past traumatic memories or experiences of shame that are triggered when your narcissistic rage becomes a problem
  • Support you as you deal with life without using your old strategies of self-inflation and manipulation
  • Understand that your rage is driven by fear of rejection and that this is actually a vicious cycle that creates actual rejection
  • Develop your own sense of individuality, be a whole person, and feel empowered
  • Learn how to have healthy relationships, both with yourself and with other people
  • Work through the pain of confronting your feelings of inadequacy and fragile self-image

Get Help Now

We've tried, tested, and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain. Find out which option is the best for you.

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Tips for Dealing With Narcissistic Rage

Are you on the receiving end of someone else’s narcissistic rage and you’d like to know how to better handle the situation? If so, below are some tips for dealing with bouts of narcissistic rage, whether it’s from a family member, partner, friend, co-worker, or stranger.

General Advice

The following includes good general advice for navigating another person's narcissistic rage.


  • Become familiar with NPD

  • Seek therapy for yourself

  • Avoid triggering a reaction

  • Call 911 if the person is a threat

  • Know you aren't to blame for their behavior

  • Stay calm and set personal boundaries


  • Escalate conflicts

  • Take things personally

    (Video) Why Narcissists Rage At You And What It Really Says About Who You Are.

  • Share too much personal information

  • Try to use logic or get into a debate

  • Apologize or accept their behavior

  • Stay in the situation if their anger becomes explosive

  • Seek revenge

  • Become familiar with narcissistic personality disorder so you can recognize triggers and outcomes. This includes recognizing the qualities that may make you a target for narcissists (e.g., being overly agreeable and accepting).
  • Seek therapy for yourself when warranted based on past events. Find support for yourself, such as a support group or a person you can confide in.
  • Avoid triggering a narcissistic reaction. Potential triggers include giving direct criticism or feedback and escalating conflicts that could lead to personal harm. Don’t try to use logic or get into a debate with the person or try to argue that they are overreacting. Also, don't take things personally, seek out revenge, or share too much personal information that could be used against you.
  • Recognize that they aren't behaving or acting in a rational manner, their judgment is impaired, and they are not thinking straight. Rage will tend to show up when the narcissist is stressed by circumstances, so it’s best to avoid them during these times as a form of self-protection. If you feel as though the person is a threat to themselves or anyone else (including you), call 911 or the emergency number in your area.
  • Realize that you are not to blame and are not responsible for their moods or behaviors. Don't apologize or accept their behavior, which may just lead to more abuse. And don't become angry yourself; try to stay calm, cool, and collected.
  • Respond according to their actions. If you are given the silent treatment, do your best to ignore it. If their anger becomes explosive, leave the situation to protect your own safety. Validate their feelings without going along with bad behavior; for example, say "you are entitled to feel that way."
  • Set personal boundaries to be clear about what is acceptable behavior for you. If you feel like you might be being gaslighted, find an outside perspective. Protect your self-esteem and self-worth from being affected by the narcissist.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.


If the narcissistic rage you experience is from a person you don't know:

  • Walk away from them and do not engage further.
  • Recognize that the interaction is not your fault and you are not obligated to stay and argue.


If you're subjected to narcissistic rage from a co-worker:

  • Verify things they tell you to make sure you are getting the full story.
  • If your work is being affected, speak to your manager or the human resources (HR) director to share what has happened.
  • Report any instances of harassment at the workplace immediately.
  • Keep records of your interaction with the person so you can argue your case.
  • Avoid being alone with the person.

Spouse, Partner, or Family Member

If it is your spouse, partner, or another family member who is the perpetrator of narcissistic rage:

  • Attend couples therapy when warranted to work on communication skills.
  • Set personal boundaries as to what behavior is acceptable to you in your relationship.
  • Put space between you and family members who engage in narcissistic rage; give them time to cool off before re-engaging.
  • Attend family therapy to get at the root causes of issues and help your loved one understand themselves better.
  • End the relationship if you feel physically, mentally, or emotionally threatened.

What Is a Marriage and Family Therapist?

A Word From Verywell

If you know a narcissist or feel you may be one yourself and are having trouble with narcissistic rage, the best options are usually self-reflection and awareness, understanding the problem, recognizing triggering situations, and developing coping skills. It’s only when the person who has a problem with narcissistic rage wants to change that change will happen.

(Video) A #Narcissist Explains: #Narcissistic Rage. The narcissist means everything they say when they RAGE

Often, change will only come when there has been a breaking point of some sort, such as the development of another mental health issue. However, you don’t have to wait to hit a breaking point before taking steps toward meaningful change.

Whatever your circumstances, reach out for help. Whether you are the perpetrator or victim of narcissistic rage, getting help will benefit those around you as well as your own life circumstances.


What Is Narcissistic Rage? ›

Examples of narcissistic rage range from intense outbursts and sudden fits of anger, to passive-aggressive acts such as simmering resentment, icy silence, deliberate neglect, or cutting sarcasm.

What is an example of a narcissistic rage? ›

Examples of narcissistic rage range from intense outbursts and sudden fits of anger, to passive-aggressive acts such as simmering resentment, icy silence, deliberate neglect, or cutting sarcasm.

What happens during narcissistic rage? ›

Someone experiencing narcissistic rage may feel that someone else or an event in their life is threatening or may injure their self-esteem or self-worth. They may act and feel grandiose and superior to others.

What triggers narcissistic rage? ›

Narcissistic rage can be triggered by various situations, such as criticism, perceived rejection, or being ignored. The reaction is often extreme and disproportionate to the event or comment, as the narcissist's fragile ego struggles to cope with the perceived attack on their self-image.

What happens to a narcissist after narcissistic rage? ›

PharmD. Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist is confronted with contrary beliefs about their perceived importance or grandiosity. The narcissist is injured, and responds with anger. Being on the receiving end of this rage can produce feelings ranging from anxiety to downright terror.

How do you shut down a narcissistic rage? ›

Tips for Dealing With Narcissistic Rage
  1. Become familiar with NPD.
  2. Seek therapy for yourself.
  3. Avoid triggering a reaction.
  4. Call 911 if the person is a threat.
  5. Know you aren't to blame for their behavior.
  6. Stay calm and set personal boundaries.
Nov 21, 2022

What does a narcissistic breakdown look like? ›

For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.

How does a narcissist destroy a person? ›

Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.

What does a narcissist do to their victim? ›

Narcissists exploit those around them through gaslighting, sabotaging, love-bombing, lying, and twisting situations to suit their needs. As a result, victims can suffer long-term effects from their abuse.

How long does a narcissistic rage last? ›

In a survey we conducted among 400 survivors of narcissistic abuse, we found that the average duration of a single narcissistic rage episode is three hours. We also found that the average duration of narcissistic rage from a narcissist who was experiencing multiple episodes is five-and-a-half days.

What would hurt a narcissist the most? ›

The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.

What bothers a narcissist the most? ›

If there's one thing narcissists hate, it's being told what to do. When you push them into a situation where they have to answer to someone else, it's like their own personal hell. Figure out a way where you can get the narcissist in your life to be underneath an authority figure to really watch them squirm.

What happens to narcissists in the end? ›

At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.

Do narcissists eventually self destruct? ›

The narcissist often engages in self-defeating and self-destructive behaviours.

What happens to narcissists in the long run? ›

According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.

Do narcissists regret their rage? ›

Narcissists – No Regrets Whatsoever

They may feign remorse or guilt in order to manipulate the people around them, but the reality is that they are incapable of feeling true regret. Their lack of empathy means they do not understand or care about the pain they cause others.

What to say to shutdown a narcissist? ›

The following are 16 key phrases to disarm a narcissist:
  • 1. “ ...
  • “I Can't Control How You Feel About Me” ...
  • “I Hear What You're Saying” ...
  • “I'm Sorry You Feel That Way” ...
  • “Everything Is Okay” ...
  • “We Both Have a Right to Our Own Opinions” ...
  • “I Can Accept How You Feel” ...
  • “I Don't Like How You're Speaking to Me so I Will not Engage”
Dec 28, 2021

Does narcissistic rage get worse with age? ›

Narcissists do get worse as they get older. With age comes a lack of independence and narcissistic supply. So, aging narcissists tend to become the extreme versions of their worst selves. They don't develop a late-onset self-awareness, they just become more abusive, manipulative, hypersensitive, rageful, and entitled.

What does a narcissistic collapse feel like? ›

During a narcissistic collapse, the narcissistic defenses that keep them confident are no longer working. In a narcissistic collapse, they feel extremely anxious, depressed, ashamed, and may be unable to keep functioning.

Does a narcissist know how much they hurt you? ›

Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”

What does trauma from a narcissist look like? ›

Nightmares, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts. Hyper-awareness, vigilance, anger, and irritability. Misplaced sense of blame, low self-worth. Avoidance of certain situations or people or a sense of detachment.

What is a narcissist's weakness? ›

A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.

Why do narcissists want to ruin you? ›

They want to see how much they can destroy you

Narcissists thrive on chaos, so they do not act out of jealousy, as that would imply they want your relationships, career, wealth, or health for themselves. Rather, they just don't want to see other people happy.

Why do narcissists try to ruin you? ›

If you can make someone afraid of you, then you have a far greater chance of manipulating them and controlling them, and that is why a narcissist will seek to destroy the sense of love within you and your ability to love rather than to live.

What are the 5 main habits of a narcissist? ›

Let's take a look at five of the most common characteristics of a narcissist in order to create awareness.
  • Inflated Ego. Those who suffer from narcissism usually seem themselves as superior to others. ...
  • Lack of Empathy. ...
  • Need for Attention. ...
  • Repressed Insecurities. ...
  • Few Boundaries.

What are the 4 stages of narcissistic abuse? ›

The four stages of the narcissistic abuse cycle are: Idealization, Devaluation, Repetition, and Discard. In this cycle, a narcissistic partner may love-bomb you, devalue your sense of self over time, repeat the pattern, and eventually, discard you and/or the relationship.

What narcissists fear most? ›

Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.

What is silent treatment after narcissistic rage? ›

Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment. If the narcissist uses the silent treatment to deflect responsibility for something they have done wrong, it can also be a form of narcissistic gaslighting.

Why are narcissists so nasty? ›

“This happens when, again, there's such an inflated view of the self that you're not able to process and respect the needs, wants, and feelings of others,” says Dr. Hoffman. This lack of empathy in narcissists is what makes their behaviors so inherently hurtful, whether they're “trying” to be hurtful or not.

What makes a narcissist miserable? ›

A trauma bond can be created through emotional abuse, which can include habitually lying, cheating, or calling you 'crazy.” Leaving them for good puts an end to control and manipulation. They'll become miserable to the point of losing their mind once they realize you cut off their narcissistic supply.

What personality type do narcissists hate? ›

Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists

Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.

What is the #1 word a narcissist Cannot stand? ›

It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".

What is the number 1 narcissist trait? ›

Grandiose sense of self-importance

Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.

What are narcissists most insecure about? ›

Attention Seeking Narcissists love attention when it is on them. Narcissists are acutely aware that they lack in self-esteem, but aren't motivated enough to work on themselves to improve it. They are plagued with insecurities; from their looks, their professional success, (or lack of it), to their relationship history.

Are narcissists bad with money? ›

They are punitive with money. Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.

What is the emotional age of a narcissist? ›

According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8. This is the time when children begin to evaluate themselves according to how they perceive others.

What kind of people end up with narcissists? ›

Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people. Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves.

When a narcissist realizes they lost you? ›

A tactic that narcissists will often use once they realize that they've lost control over you is self-victimization. When a narcissist victimizes themselves it means that they label themselves as victims and blame their problems on external factors.

Do narcissists deeply hate themselves? ›

Much of the time, a narcissist's behaviour isn't driven by self-love – rather, self-hatred.

How do narcissists leave so easily? ›

Long term exposure to abuse can therefore lead to new neural pathways being formed which simply bypass emotions completely. It's protective evolution of the brain. And means that narcissists never feel hurt, pain or love. Therefore they can move on without a care in the world.

When a narcissist loses his family? ›

Narcissists tend to have mixed reactions to the passing away of their siblings, parents, and other close family members. On the one hand, they experience a sense of joy and freedom, and on another, they may feel an overwhelming sense of space combined with grief.

What is the average length of a relationship with a narcissist? ›

Narcissistic relationships can last anywhere from a few days or weeks to many years. There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim.

What are the dangers of narcissistic rage? ›

Physical harm to self or others: A fit of rage could escalate to physical harm, such as hitting someone or punching the wall during an argument. Depression and anxiety: After lashing out, the comedown can be shameful and isolating for the narcissist. Over time, this can increase the risk of depression and anxiety.

Can a narcissist ever be heartbroken? ›

While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.

Do narcissists know they are abusive? ›

MD. While being the target of narcissistic abuse is stressful and hurtful, many narcissists are unaware of how their actions impact others. If they are aware that others feel negatively about them or about their choices, they often lack the ability to take responsibility for their actions or see them as wrong.

What does covert narcissistic rage look like? ›

Covert narcissists tend to “rage” by talking more calmly yet incessantly for hours and hours until you say you are sorry for things that you were not responsible for. They want you to bow down to them to control you. They express rage overtly when alone with the victim.

What is the difference between borderline rage and narcissistic rage? ›

Borderline rage is the attempt to destroy that which is envied in order to hold on to the good internal objects, while narcissistic rage is an emotional outburst to a threatened self, an outcome of guilt, from an indulging self.

Do narcissists throw things when angry? ›

There are four ways a narcissist expresses anger: Aggressive This can be instantaneously in the form of verbal lashings, throwing objects, threats of harm, yelling, being argumentative, unyielding in opinions, repetitive speech, twisting the truth, and intimidation.

How does a covert narcissist destroy you? ›

Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.

What is the cycle of abuse for a narcissist? ›

What is the narcissistic abuse cycle? It is a pattern of behavior that is often seen in relationships where one person has a narcissistic personality disorder. It typically consists of four phases: idealization, devaluation, discarding, and hoovering.

What happens when you ignore narcissistic rage? ›

Ignoring the vicious narcissist

For vicious narcissists, ignoring their narcissistic rage makes them more inappropriately angry. If their victim is nearby, they will raise their voice. They may begin to throw increasingly toxic and hostile remarks at their victims. They may start to break things or throw things around.

How do narcissists humiliate you? ›

The narcissist tries to ignore it, talk it out of existence, or belittle its importance. If this crude mechanism of cognitive dissonance fails, the narcissist resorts to denial and repression of the humiliating material. He "forgets" all about it, gets it out of his mind and, when reminded of it, denies it.

What turns a narcissist off? ›

The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.


1. Narcissistic Rage Types and What You're dealing With
(Dr. Daniel Fox)
2. Beware of the narcissist's anger and rage (30 DAYS OF NARCISSISM) - Dr. Ramani Durvasula
3. How To Respond To A Narcissist's Irrational Anger
(Surviving Narcissism)
4. What Lies Beneath A Narcissist's Rage
(Surviving Narcissism)
5. Narcissistic Rage Explained. How and why they happen and how to protect yourself.
(The Enlightened Target)
6. Stop referring to narcissism as "anger issues"


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Author: Lilliana Bartoletti

Last Updated: 10/06/2023

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Name: Lilliana Bartoletti

Birthday: 1999-11-18

Address: 58866 Tricia Spurs, North Melvinberg, HI 91346-3774

Phone: +50616620367928

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Introduction: My name is Lilliana Bartoletti, I am a adventurous, pleasant, shiny, beautiful, handsome, zealous, tasty person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.